Do you know what it’s like be stuck in a dorm room with a male roommate, in an all-male residence hall, during a dry spell? When you can’t even masturbate because either your roommate is around, or you have homework or studying to do? I’ll tell you what it’s like. It’s like being starved. Red-blooded guys like me need a woman’s touch. We need to be between their legs, making them utter sounds only real men get to hear. We need the warmth and softness of a girl, or we go insane.

And I was going insane. I hadn’t jacked off in a month. A month. And I hadn’t been able to score. Either I fucked things up, or luck came in and fucked it up for me; there was no getting laid. It was wearing on me. My grades were beginning to slip, and I was getting irritable.

“FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!” I tossed my Xbox controller onto my bed, to my right.
Even my game was suffering.
“You alright? Losing never used to piss you off this much.” Kevin was my roommate, and he was the more sensitive between us. He had a way of speaking his mind, too. For the moment, his words pissed me off even more.
“Fucking armor-locking motherfuckers.” I leaned back in my chair, exhaling.
“Yeah, they’re bastards, but c’mon, you’re overreacting. Something else is wrong.”
“What does it matter to you?”
Kevin looked at me, his brown eyes resolute. “Because it’s been miserable in here for the last few weeks. You just sit in here and fume and snap at me when I try to chill you out. Things used to be relaxed around here.”

I knew he was right; I was making things tense in our little room. But it pissed me off even more to hear it. I didn’t like being told I was wrong, or at fault. I didn’t always take it well.
“Goddamnit you whine a lot.” I stood up and grabbed my jacket. I needed to leave. I wanted to get away from the accusations, even if they were right.
“And you can’t face facts when it comes to yourself.” Kevin turned in his chair, leaning across the back of his chair.

I put on my jacket, and approached Kevin. I wanted to hit him now, I was so mad. His smarmy, know-it-all demeanor needed to go. I looked down at him, and he didn’t flinch one bit. I was bigger than him. Stronger than him. But I couldn’t hit him. And he knew it. I was always a bit of a softy, and I always had a soft spot for him. He was after all, my only real friend on campus. The only guy who got me, who I could hang out with anytime and feel comfortable with.

“I need to go. Get some air. I’ll see you later.” I turned to leave, but Kevin was faster. He leapt for his shoes and jacket as well, and I was nearly out the room when he came up behind me. “Not without me, big guy.”
I sighed, waiting outside the door for him. “Fine.” I couldn’t help but smile. Kevin’s charm was disarming, and in a word: cute. I didn’t feel ashamed to admit that to myself. And he cared. Such a rare quality these days. Guys need support too. And it’s great to have that one guy who can help you out.
“Where we goin’?” Kevin said, now leaning on me with his hand to get a shoe on.
“Figured I’d grab a drink.”

“You were gonna sit at the bar, alone? Seriously, James?” He looked at me. I just shrugged.
“Wouldn’t be the first time. Won’t be the last if this dry spell keeps up.” We walked out, down the hallway, and into the entry area. Down the steps, we found our way outside in the cool, winter air.
“So that’s what this is about? Getting your dick wet?” He gave my arm a small punch. It didn’t hurt, but I acted like it did.
“Hey!”
“Damnit Jim, I thought you were depressed or something.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets, and blew a lock of his brown hair out of his face.
“I might as well be. I’m horny as fuck and I haven’t even gotten my rocks off for a month!” We headed for the parking lot.
“You can’t…take care of that yourself?” He looked at me as he approached my car. I didn’t make eye contact.
“I’ve tried.”
“How hard is it!?”
“When you’re around, and with my busy schedule? Nigh-impossible.” We got into my car.
“Oh. Sorry.” He looked down at his lap, as we pulled out of the space, and started on our way to the nearest bar.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault. I’m just unlucky.” I glanced at him, and he smiled a bit. Good. Even though it bothered me, I didn’t want him to feel bad.

We drove in silence for a long while, arriving at the bar without a word. We entered the bar, and I held the door open for him. He gave me a smirk.
We took a seat, settling into a booth and removing our jackets. The waitress eyed us both up with some interest. I smiled back, and Kevin only offered a small grin.
“What can I get you two?”
Kevin tapped his lips in contemplation, and I simply watched him. It was amusing for some reason. I guess you could say I thought it was cute. I simply waited for him to answer.
“Uh, just something sweet I guess. Rum and Coke.” I smirked at him. He glared at me.
“I’ll have Wild Turkey, on the rocks, please. And put his Rum & Coke on my tab.” The waitress nodded with a smile and took off.
“Hey, I don’t need you to p-”
“I’ve been a dick, man. I’ll pay for your drink. It’s fine.” He glared at me still, but it was his playful kind of glare. He pouted a little.
“Fine.”

We got our drinks, and bullshitted about a lot of things. School, jobs, parents, Reach. Then we came back to the subject of girls, which Kevin’s always been evasive with. I never pushed it, and he was happy to talk about my love life. Just not his.
“Why don’t you go for the waitress? You can be charming when you need to be.”
“Yeah, I don’t know if she’s my type.”
“Not your type? I thought you wanted to get laid. Seems like you can’t afford to be picky, Jim.”
I sighed. Maybe I was just nervous. More than I was used to being.
“I need another drink.”
And so we had a few more.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend, Kevin?” The barlight casted a red-purple neon glow on the table, but I could see his expression. He hesitated.
“I’m not judging you man, I just wanna know. Nerves? Holding out for that one girl?”
“You could…say that I guess. Both.”
“Well, how do you know if you don’t go out and try to find her?”
He was silent. I finished my fifth Turkey on the rocks, savoring the taste.
“Because I like guys.”
I looked at him, wide-eyed.
“Oh. Wow. Uh…”
“Guess that answers the question, right?” He looked down at the table.
“Yeah.”
“This isn’t gonna make things weird is it?”
“I wouldn’t think so. I have no problem with you being gay.” I didn’t. Why should I give a shit? Still my best friend, y’know?
“Well, I’m not exactly gay either…”
“What?”
“It’s hard to explain…”
“Hey man, I’ve got time.”
“Don’t you have class tomorrow?”
I sighed. I did have class. But I didn’t care. I needed a break. And it sounded like Kevin needed to talk, so…
“It’ll be fine dude. Let’s talk.” He looked away, unsure. He blew some hair out of his face.
“You wanna get outta here?” I figured he wouldn’t want anyone overhearing. Figured he’d feel safer back at our place.
He nodded, with a small smile. So I paid our tab, and we left. Once again, the ride was silent, though not uncomfortably so.

We arrived back at our room after the cold walk, and I sat on my bed. He sat next to me. It was probably closer than I would normally be comfortable with, but Wild Turkey is a hell of a drink, and I was chill with it.
“So, what did you want to know.” His big brown eyes looked into mine.
“You said you liked men, but you weren’t gay. Not sure I understand.”
Kevin sighed, and he crossed his legs. He frowned, looking around, as if the will to speak was somewhere in the room.
“You can tell me, Kevin. You know I’m cool with just about anything, and I listen.”
“You do, don’t you?” He smoothed some of his hair behind his ear, in a feminine gesture. I flinched. When I saw him there, legs crossed, brushing hair behind his ear, frowning, I saw someone vulnerable. It made me want to help. It also made me see Kevin differently. He looked almost…like a girl. I shook my head. A girl? What the fuck was I talking about?
“I’ve always felt different, Jim. Like, I don’t belong in this body.” His voice was quiet, softer than usual. I snapped out of my confusion. I had to tread lightly; I didn’t want to upset him.
“What’s wrong with your body, Kevin?” I reached out, and placed a hand on his. He flinched then, and looked at me, with his big, brown eyes, surprised.
“I feel like…I’m not a guy, Jim.” He looked away from me.
“What do you mean? You are a guy.”
“No, I feel like I’m a woman. In a man’s body.”
I looked away then, realizing finally what he meant. I had heard of people like him before. I didn’t know how to react.
“You still OK with me now? A room transfer isn’t that big of a deal, I’d understand Jim.”

I didn’t care. I cared about him too much. And now he needed support more than ever. If I rejected him after hearing his secret, it’d tear him apart.
I held his hand tighter, giving it a squeeze. It was all I could think of.
“No, Kevin. It’s cool with me. I’m not sure I understand, but you’re my best friend, and I don’t just get rid of people because they’re different.”
Kevin smiled then, squeezing my hand back.
“Thanks. I’ve never told anyone. Not even my parents.”
“Good thing I’m such a great guy, then, right?”
He beamed a smile then. His eyes trailed down my arm, to our clasped hands. My eyes followed, and I soon realized how tightly I was holding his. I gently released it, and cleared my throat.
“Sorry about that.” I rubbed the back of my neck, more than a little bashful.
Kevin scooted closer to me, and spoke in a hushed tone, “You know, I’ve always had a thing for you, Jim.”
I froze. What did he say? I couldn’t look at him.
“One secret too many?”

I looked up at him, and he looked strange. There was definitely fear in his eyes. But also a confidence. No, hopefulness.
“I…” What could I say? ‘Fuck you Kevin, you queer?’ That’s not even what I wanted to say. I didn’t know what I wanted. He was vulnerable, and I wanted to help him. Make him feel better. And even more distressing…I didn’t want to say no. I didn’t have the kneejerk reaction I expected. Maybe I liked him too.
Before I could get much further, Kevin grabbed my hand and moved into me. He placed his lips on mine, and chills went up my spine. I froze, my eyes wide, but he held his ground. His lips were soft, warm, and inviting. I couldn’t resist for long, and with a groan of approval, I leaned into him, kissing him back.
His arms threw themselves around my neck, pulling me harder against him, and I went nuts, unable to control myself. My hands grasped at his small, taut waist line. He purred a little against me. As our lips pressed and slid against each other, I felt a stirring between my legs. I was getting hard, and I didn’t care that I was kissing another guy.

Kevin took it up another notch, his tongue delightfully invading my mouth to play with my own. A flash of heat ran through my body, and I grabbed at him, holding him closely.
Then, as suddenly as he started it, he withdrew, and leaned back. I still held him against me, and he looked down at my arms, smirking a little.
“Wow.” I said, almost breathless.
“Wow indeed. You’re a great kisser.” His brown eyes brimmed with mischief, his arms still around me.
“You’re pretty good too…uh…”
“Uh what?”
“So what…do we do now?” I searched his eyes.
“We keep going, if you like.” He gave a short giggle, tempting me with his eyes.
“I…wouldn’t mind that at all, actually.”
“You sure? I still have a guy’s body…”
“I’m willing to experiment.”
Kevin grinned then, and he gave me a quick kiss before sliding his arms off my shoulders. He wriggled in my arms, trying to get out of them. I reluctantly released him, and smiled as he ran about the room, checking his dresser for something.
“What’re you looking for?” I leaned back on my arms, watching with amusement.
“Several things, all of which are surprises.”
After a few moments, he bundled some things up and walked up to me. He stole a quick kiss, giggled, and headed off to the bathroom. “I’ll be quick! Promise!”

I licked my lips, and leaned forward. My hand reached down to adjust my pants. I was getting stiff, and it was uncomfortable with it in more ways than one. I could never have seen this coming. I had just made out with another guy, and enjoyed it! Not to mention…I maybe be close to sleeping with him too.
I sat, these thoughts and more racing through my head, until Kevin came back in. He sauntered into the room, his hips swaying a bit.
“You just needed to go to the bathroom? I thought you had a surprise.” It was then I noticed he was wearing a little bit of lipstick.
“I do.” His voice was a little higher now, and he began undoing his pants. Beneath, he wore a pair of black, lacy panties. He tugged his pants down with this thumbs, bending over. He stepped out of them, his legs soft and shaven smooth. I couldn’t believe how sexy they were. A little bulge lay beneath the cute black underwear.
His put his hands on his hips, and sauntered up to me, with a sexy little walk, his brown eyes glinting with devious intent.
“And you can call me Kelly, big guy.”

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